Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate being a mom. It is not always easy and it is not always joyful, but it is the greatest gift in the world. I feel blessed to be a mother and to have a wonderful mother who I admire and love beyond words. Sunday is her day and it is not always an easy one for her, or for anymore with a missing seat at the dinner table…
Four and half years ago tragedy struck and my mom experienced any mother’s worst nightmare when my brother’s life was suddenly taken away. While I miss my brother, my best friend so bad it hurts – I know it can never come close to the feeling of a mother losing her child. On a day like Mother’s Day, I especially hurt for her. As I look into the eyes of my three babies, I can only imagine her pain. I see and feel what she is going through and wish I could take it away, but I can’t.
I live in constant, and sometimes irrational, fear of going through what she has gone through. I don’t know how I would go on if God took one of my precious babies. They are my everything and I would gladly give my life for one of them. I learned this from my mom…
She taught me how to be a mom without ever instructing, but simply by showing. From the time I was born I knew I was everything to her and that her love was unconditional. She is still here for me every day, when I call to chat about my day, vent about a problem or seek guidance. Our relationship has changed as I have grown, but I still love listening to her talk about our young years… some of which escape my memory. She often tells me that the happiest days of her life were when we were little and the majority of her time was spent just hanging out at the house. I think about this as I busily race around wondering why I do not spend more time just hanging at the house with my kids.
With all this racing around sometimes I forget to stop and just appreciate my kids at this moment while they are still little, and while I am still their everything. I admit sometimes it can be hard to be appreciative when the boys are fighting, the baby is crying and the house is a mess, but I know one day it will be quiet and my house will be immaculate and it actually makes me sad.
I know my mom would give anything to go back to where I am right now… to have both of her babies back in her arms. I wish I could make that happen. And although it is not quite the same, I did give her three grandkids. These kids have helped all of us smile again and they adore their nany (prounounced nonny, but that is how her nany spelled it). I get so much pleasure watching her with them and I know they bring genuine happiness.
This Mother’s Day when my mom and I are together, most of our focus will be on the three kiddos because as moms this is what we do, but for me it will also be on appreciation… Appreciating just hanging out, no running around… Appreciating that we are all together… and finally, appreciating my mom for all she has done and all that she is.
This poem was on the back of my oldest son’s adorable Mother’s Day gift that he made in school. Another reminder to appreciate this time in our lives.
I miss you when we’re not together
I’m growing up so fast
See how big I gotten
Since you saw me last?
As I grow, I change a lot,
The years will fly right by.
You’ll wonder how I grew so quick
When and where and why?
So save this card in a safe place,
And take it out each year.
The memories will come back of me,
When I was small and dear.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you Super Mommies out there! You make the world go round! Cherish the day… xx
with love,
Jessica
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